I’m writing this blog sitting on a beach in beautiful Skiathos.
I’m enjoying a Mythos in the late afternoon sun (my favourite time of the day). I’m feeling happy and blessed, surrounded by people I love.
There’s a large group of us. We’re celebrating the anniversary of a very special wedding that we all attended here 20 years ago. I’m with my oldest friends and loved ones.
I look around the group. Clearly we’ve all matured in 20 years. The adults have aged and the children that were toddlers then are all gorgeous full-blown adults now. We’ve talked a lot about our previous trip here, the time in-between and how it’s affected us.
Some of us have been through a lot.
Some, not so much.
Amongst all of the nice things that have happened, there’s been deaths, divorces, many broken romances, illness, infertility, addiction, a number of redundancies and a bankruptcy.
We’re a fairly typical group, so it’s just highlighting the fact that it’s pretty impossible to go through life without some sh** happening.
It’s how you handle the sh** that dictates how you feel about your life.
If you’re able to fully process all the negative things that happen to you, working through them and extracting the lessons, you will manage to find peace and contentment in your life.
If you distract yourself, bury yourself in work or alcohol or food or drugs or shopping, you won’t.
I believe there’s a lesson hidden in every kind of misfortune.
Wisdom enters wounds…if you let it.
I find there are three different kinds of people I come across.
- Those who really struggle and don’t ever fully get over things.
- Those who do manage to get over things but stay the same, i.e. don’t grow or learn from them. These people get stuck in the same repeating cycles, because they never learn the lesson.
- And those who turn their pain into something positive. These people really believe that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.
They’re the Alchemists.
The term Alchemist comes from the middle ages. An Alchemist was someone who practiced a form of chemistry called Alchemy – they were able to transform ordinary metals into gold.
In the modern dictionary, alchemy is defined as the process of taking something ordinary (or less than ordinary) and turning it into something extraordinary. An example of this is someone who takes a pile of scrap metal and turns it into a beautiful piece of art.
Paulo Coelho wrote the book The Alchemist – It’s a wonderful parable about learning to listen to your heart, to gain wisdom from the obstacles you encounter and the people you meet (good and bad) and to keep following your dreams. I highly recommend it.
I believe the more you can be the Alchemist, the more life satisfaction you will feel.
The more you can transform those negative events, people and situations into a lesson, learning or silver lining the happier you will be.
If you know you can flip that unfortunate event into something that you grow from, if you can roll with the punches, then nothing can really touch you.
Does it take resilience? – Yes.
Does it take tenacity? – Certainly.
Can anyone do it? – Absolutely.
But you’ll probably need some guidance and support.
I’m happy to say I’ve managed to extract every bit of goodness out of every bit of badness (and there’s been enough) that has ever happened in my life. Every lesson I’ve learned I use to help other people.
If you imagine that every setback or bad experience you have in your life gives you a rock in your pocket. Some rocks are small, some medium and some are huge. The more rocks you have, the more heavy and weighed down you feel. Eventually the burden you are carrying is so heavy, it’s impossible to function….let alone be happy.
If you learn how to alchemise those events and extract any wisdom or benefit from them, you get to remove the rocks and you can float through life. Lighter, brighter and freer than ever before.
I don’t believe we’re on this earth to be unhappy.
I’ve met people who have had truly awful things happen to them but they’ve alchemised them into something positive.
Parents who have lost a child but then set up a charity to raise awareness so that other parents don’t lose a child in the same way.
People who have been raped or suffered domestic violence and now run shelters and support groups for other people who are going through the same thing. (Men and women).
Men who have been to prison and now talk in schools to prevent children getting involved in crime.
People who have been in horrendous accidents losing limbs or becoming disabled but they’re now motivational speakers inspiring others every day.
The greater your self-esteem, the easier it is to be an Alchemist.
The more you like yourself, the greater your faith in your own goodness and abilities, the easier it is for you to turn things around.
You may think it’s wiser to just avoid any challenges, to live a half life and never take any chances or go for anything, just in case something bad happens. But that’s never going to lead you to true contentment.
We all try to shield our children as much as possible nowadays. But the obstacles and disappointments they encounter in life are what give them a backbone. If we shield them too much they never develop a backbone and then crumple at the first bad thing that happens to them.
That’s not teaching them real life. (No judgement here – I’ve been guilty of this too – till I learnt).
There are so many benefits to boosting your self-esteem – this has to be one of the biggest ones.
Let me help you.
If you’re ready, book a call.
Now back to my Mythos….
Much Love
Christina xx