In the process of doing what I do, I come across a lot of different people.
I always say I have the best job in the world.
And I really do believe that.
It’s a very special thing to know that you’ve had a deep impact on someone’s life.
It’s even more special to know that, in just helping that one person see themselves differently, you’ve also helped many other people in the process too.
The transformations my clients achieve ripple out and impact all the other people in their lives too.
The husbands, the wives, (the future husbands and wives), the children, the co-workers…
Once transformed, they respond to the people in their lives very differently.
Their transformation impacts ALL of their relationships, because they’ve essentially become a very different version of themselves.
It really is a wonderful thing.
I met with a new client this week.
He is 69 and has suffered with low self esteem all of his life.
In our initial meeting he describes himself as the ugly duckling that never became a swan.
I’ve had a number of clients say this to me over the years.
I can relate, because I believed I was an ugly duckling for most of the early part of my life too.
I was the only member of my family to be covered from head to toe in freckles.
(I write about this in my little E-Book – Why do I have low self esteem and what can I do about it?)
Suffice to say, I did NOT feel good enough or “right” as a result of my magnitude of freckles.
I hated being different and felt very ugly.
(Sorry freckled people, I don’t think this now, I think the complete opposite.)
My parents never made me feel this way.
I made me feel this way.
I hated my freckles with a passion and was teased mercilessly at school.
My freckles made me stand out and I DID NOT want to stand out.
Whenever I would say to my Mum:-
“Why did I have to get all of these freckles? I feel so ugly.”
My Mum would always reply in the same way:
“Ah but the ugly ducklings always turn into the most beautiful swans. You’re actually very special.” (Bless her.)
I thought to myself at the time, what a load of rubbish. But I did appreciate her trying to make me feel better.
(I know I am VERY lucky in this regard. A lot of parents DON’T give this kind of reassurance.)
Hopefully most of you know the fairy tale about the ugly duckling.
When the ugly duckling cracks out of his shell, he’s not fluffy and yellow and small and cute like the other ducklings.
He’s big and brownish-grey and not fluffy at all.
He looks COMPLETELY different.
Like my Mum, Mamma Duck reassures him that he’s not ugly – she tells him that he’s special and unique.
But all he wants is to be the same as his duckling siblings.
All he wants is just to belong.
The more he compares himself to his fluffy yellow brothers and sisters, the more ugly and alone he feels.
He runs away; such is his shame at being so different from his family.
This is the part of the story where I usually meet most of my clients.
They have never felt a part of their family/group/social circle.
They feel like they’re on the outside looking in.
They either don’t look the same or more commonly, they don’t FEEL the same as everyone else.
They equate this as THEM being wrong or different.
They go through life feeling inadequate or wrong or not good enough and low self esteem develops.
When I meet my ‘ugly duckling’ clients, I nearly always think the same thing.
They’re not ugly at all.
In fact, most of them are the most beautiful people I’ve ever met.
I can see it unequivocally.
It shouts loud and clear at me.
But they can’t.
They have no idea how special they are.
How sad.
Just because they are different, they believe they are wrong or second best in some way and it’s simply not true.
USUALLY IT’S THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE.
They’re different from their family, yes, but in all the right ways.
They have clear, honest, beautiful energy.
I can literally FEEL their goodness and worth.
This is the same as my golden sheep, who I introduced you to in one of my earlier blogs.
If this blog is resonating, go back a little and read that one too.
In the fairy tale, the ugly duckling keeps himself hidden away while the seasons pass.
In Christina’s therapy room we get to work.
I help my clients take their blinkers off.
I help them wake up from a very long sleep.
I teach them that it’s ok to be a late bloomer (just like I was).
As we gradually change their entrenched beliefs, they realise that they’re not really an ugly duckling at all.
Just like the ugly duckling does in the fairy tale…
He catches sight of himself in the lake and is shocked at how much he’s changed.
Now he’s the prettiest bird he’s ever seen – he’s a beautiful swan.
He was only ugly because he wasn’t a duckling at all!
I love it when my clients have the realisation that they’re a beautiful swan too.
An amazing light comes on inside them; THEY GET IT.
They’re now fully awake and seeing things with completely new eyes.
They’ve been a beautiful swan all along, but like the fairy tale ugly duckling, they just didn’t realise it.
What matters most is who we are on the inside.
My clients have been special and unique all along.
They just had to see it for themselves.
When we’re a square peg in a round hole, it feels uncomfortable.
We don’t want to be different.
We don’t want to stand out, for what we see, as all the wrong reasons.
I have no real explanation for why some people are so different from their family of origin.
But they are.
I see it every day.
They look different (like I did) or their personalities are different.
But that’s ok.
The world needs us to be who we TRULY are.
It needs us to embrace our uniqueness and run with it.
WHEN WE DO THIS IT MAKES US UNBELIEVABLY ATTRACTIVE.
People who have embraced their uniqueness and are truly comfortable with who they are give off the most amazing energy.
Outer beauty really is only skin deep, whereas this kind of beauty is REAL and has true depth.
Can you bloom at any age?
Absolutely you can!
Wrinkles or a bald patch or some other exterior flaws don’t matter one bit.
I love this quote from Anais Nin:-
“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”
Life is a process of becoming…a combination of stages that we have to go through.
Even if you truly were an ugly duckling, it was only a stage that you had to go through.
Let me help you blossom into your beautiful swan.
Go on.
Allow me to enjoy my job even more 🙂
It’s time to bloom little duckling.
Much Love
Christina xx
P.S I couldn’t find an image of an ugly duckling (all of nature is beautiful) so you got a cute duckling instead 🙂