Happy New Year!
Goodbye 2022 and hello and welcome 2023.
I love the new beginnings/fresh start/anything is possible energy that is so strong at this time of year.
I’m not a big fan of New Year’s Resolutions, but I think it’s still a great time to review the previous year and think about making some changes/improvements for this coming year.
To set some new intentions…
Are you feeling fired up and ready to capitalise on this wonderful energy?
Or are you just feeling sluggish and lethargic after Christmas?
Either is ok, we’re all different.
The problem with resolutions is they only usually last a few weeks…even days in some cases.
We often start out all guns blazing, only to fizzle out by mid-January.
As time’s gone by I’ve come to realise that when I set myself a hard goal – I must lose this much weight or earn that much money – I very often don’t achieve it.
I put myself under too much pressure; this pushes my resistance up super-high (even when I really want the goal) and I fall off the wagon.
Recognising this, I now take a much softer approach. I set intentions, rather than goals.
When I set intentions I set them for either the quarter (90 days), the half year (180 days) or the full year ahead.
I’m kind to myself and I just get started. That’s it. I just get started…
I’m working TOWARDS my goal, rather than killing myself and beating myself up for then not achieving it.
I love myself up with lots and lots and lots of encouragement and I just make a start.
If I wait for the motivation, it never comes.
If I just give myself a gentle nudge and get started THEN the motivation comes…and it builds and builds.
When I approach goals in this gentle way I seem to be far more successful and almost always achieve my desired outcome.
I know this approach is not for everyone, but I find it seems to work better for most highly sensitive, low self-esteem lovely types.
It’s the reason I created my products the way I did.
Self-esteem, like a lot of things, is a progressive journey.
Your self-esteem grows in increments.
If you take a look at my product page here you can see the little character is using different modes of transport as he speeds up on his journey.
Personal development is a life-long process.
And that process starts with self-awareness.
The better we understand who we are, the easier it is. We have our starting point.
Before I became a therapist I only had a very vague understanding of who I truly was.
I thought that so many of my weaknesses were just me.
They were MY foibles, MY idiosyncrasies.
I mentioned this in a previous blog – Trust the Process My Lovelies
I didn’t realise that they were just low self-esteem.
These same types of issues have been present in almost all of the Lovelies I’ve ever worked with.
We’re really not that different at all.
I’ve noticed this with Avoidant and/or Narcissistic people too.
You think the traits are unique to that character, but they’re not, they’re all part of the disorder.
When I work with clients and I can describe their partner/former partner to a T, they’re shocked.
How can I be so insightful when I don’t even know this person?
It’s because I know the disorder.
It’s time for some introspection.
Self- awareness is everything.
Please read that again – self-awareness is EVERYTHING!
I’m going to be a bit of a broken record this year.
I want this to be the year that you really get to know yourself and do something about the things that are holding you back and making you unhappy.
You’re a kind, generous, wonderful person – you deserve to be happy.
I’d like you to visit this page on my website and do the quiz – even if you’ve done it before.
How many of these traits do you have?
Don’t be embarrassed, even if you have all of them.
I had most of them too.
Your low self-esteem is not your fault.
It’s your conditioning. And this was foisted upon you, without any of your say-so.
Your conditioning began when you were still in the womb.
As a foetus your brain was fully formed from around 6 months onwards.
You experienced the exact same feelings your mother felt until you were born
From the third trimester until you were 7 years old, you were just a little sponge.
That’s it….you took it ALL in.
You had no way of rejecting this programming.
You were in complete hypnosis.
Positive, healthy parents will give you positive healthy conditioning.
Negative damaged or inadequate parents will give negative damaged conditioning.
They can’t do anything else.
Plus you are bombarded by society, by the TV, by what happens in school and your clubs/societies.
It all goes in – the good, the bad and the ugly – and it becomes the paradigm by which you live your life.
Once you have a root of low self-esteem, of not feeling enough, of feeling worthless or unlovable or somehow just plain wrong, that root grows and grows unless it’s stopped.
Your low self-esteem may manifest itself in all areas of your life or maybe just a few, i.e. your relationships and/or eating and drinking habits.
Very often people with low self-esteem are people-pleasers – approval is the air that they breathe, so they can often be very successful in their chosen career, despite their low self-esteem.
It’s not because they see themselves as brilliant – it’s actually the opposite – their lack of self-esteem pushes them to work harder than anyone else in the company.
Paradoxically, they can boss it all day at work, but then they let their partner walk all over them once they get home. And sadly their lack of self-worth means they never usually leave. They just stay and put up with this.
Or, they give and give and give at work and feel so utterly depleted that when they get home they over-eat, over-drink and over-shop to compensate, making themselves overweight, dependent on alcohol and/or in debt in the process.
Can you relate to any of this?
It’s virtually impossible to change something if you’re unaware of it.
That’s why this year I want you to become super-aware of who you are and what you’d like to change about yourself/ life.
What do you REALLY WANT and what do you REALLY NOT want in your life?
Spend lots of time pondering on this.
Go deep.
Ask yourself a lot of questions.
This process IS possible on your own, but it’s a long, arduous process that way. It’s so much better to do it with a mentor.
Someone who’s been there already, and can help you make sense of things – to shine a light on your blind spots.
Would you prefer to have a nice holiday this year or would you prefer to invest in yourself and your wellbeing (or both?)
The changes you make from working with me and my programmes will last a lifetime.
You will literally put yourself and your life on a completely different trajectory. A totally new path.
A happy, healthy, confident, uplifted path.
What’s it to be?
An upgrade to your car?
A nice holiday?
Or a whole new happy, healthy confident life?
It’s up to you.
Much Love
Christina xx