“It is not the strongest of the species that survives, or the most intelligent…it is the one who is most adaptable to change” Charles Darwin
Be more bamboo – what is she talking about??
Be more bamboo is one of my favourite analogies.
I use it with lots of my clients – especially my more stubborn ones (ahem, a number of my Lonelies) 🙂
I use it when they’re being too rigid in their thinking or language.
Too…ought to, must do, have to, should…
Too…I have to be right…
Too…I can’t deviate from this path or the world will end…
Too…black and white…I don’t do grey…
Too…entrenched in doing something a certain way, and ONLY that way…
But often THAT way is hurting them.
I remind them how it doesn’t pay to be too rigid…because rigid things can snap.
Despite its great wide trunk and height, a 150-year old oak tree can still blow over in a strong enough wind.
So how strong is it really?
Sevenoaks lost six of its namesake seven oak trees in the great storm of 1987…
Bamboo, although very slender by comparison, (see image) will bend and bend and then return upright again.
It’s incredibly flexible, so bends without ever breaking or snapping – this makes it unbelievably strong.
Its great strength lies in its flexibility.
Bamboo is often called a tree, but it’s actually a giant grass.
It has greater tensile strength (resistance to being pulled apart) than steel.
It withstands compression better than concrete.
It has a higher strength to weight ratio than graphite.
Wow!
Because of this, bamboo is the Chinese symbol for strength.
You would never guess that, when you consider how slender it is.
The seeds of a Chinese bamboo tree don’t break through the ground for 4 years.
4 years!!
Then the tree grows 90 feet tall in a year.
It must be watered and fertilised for all those years, even though there is nothing to see.
This makes its roots incredibly dense and strong.
Only adding to its amazing stability.
A few years ago I went to Thailand on holiday.
I was lucky enough to stay on a beautiful tropical island off the coast of Phuket.
Obviously the only way to access the island was by boat.
There were many many small wooden jetties going out into the sea, all over the island.
Each of the jetties was built on metal legs.
The jetties moved up and down with the tide on giant rollers inside these metal legs.
Just like the roller slides on a drawer.
The boatman explained to me that without these sliding legs they would be replacing the jetties every few months.
Without this flexibility, the tide would smash the jetties to pieces.
How clever I thought, and this has stayed with me ever since.
If we’re too rigid, we can break easily.
If we’re more flexible and flow with the tide, we’re actually much stronger.
Rigid people have very inflexible thoughts and behaviour patterns.
It’s the opposite of being open-minded.
They are often resistant to new ideas, ways of being or ways of thinking.
They don’t want to deviate from their chosen path.
They have a fixed mindset rather than a growth mindset.
They have become rigid because it has served them in some way in the past.
I don’t want you to confuse rigidity here with tenacity.
Tenacity is a wonderful thing.
Tenacity is commitment to a cause which helps us look beyond an obstacle and treat it as an opportunity to improve.
It gives us the confidence and determination to find a way, even if we don’t currently know how.
Tenacity embraces flexibility.
Rigidity does not.
Like most things, there is a fine line between the two.
We should be aiming for the sweet spot in the middle.
Rigid people often have stiff necks and bad backs.
When one of my clients is being particularly rigid in their thinking I ask them if they have a bad back.
Usually their eyes go wide, because yes, they do have a bad back.
How could I possibly know that?
Because when you’re rigid in your mindset you’re usually rigid in your body too.
Fancy that??
As human beings we are creatures of habit, especially those habits that have served us well in our life or career.
We feel secure in these familiar patterns.
We feel in control.
Many people don’t want to admit their knowledge might be wrong or lacking in some way.
Anything new or different can feel unfamiliar and downright uncomfortable.
But so often, it’s these old habits and patterns that’s what’s keeping us stuck and unhappy.
They’re usually contributing to all kinds of problems.
Trying new ideas or new ways takes mental energy.
Most of us don’t want to re-open old files in the filing cabinet of our minds, because it requires us to step out of our comfort zones…
And we don’t want to do that.
There’s no denying, change can be difficult, but that’s why my clients come to me.
They know they can’t do it on their own.
They know they have too many blind spots.
I offer an extremely safe, supportive space.
BUT…
You are probably going to feel uncomfortable at times.
I will more than likely trigger you occasionally.
You might want to give up and go home at times.
You might not always like me 🙂
But that’s all part of the process.
I celebrate the triggers and resistance when they come up, because I know that’s where the change happens.
That’s where we need to focus.
Clients come to me for transformation.
So transformation is what we’re going to get.
No matter how uncomfortable.
The rewards are well worth it.
I promise.
Those breakthroughs feel epic.
Changing a rigid person’s mind is not an easy task.
It takes time and energy.
I have to be very patient.
I have to present a convincing argument for the change.
I have to be assertive in some cases (but also bamboo).
I point out the flaws in their logic and expose their biases.
I show them how their rigid beliefs are actually hurting them.
I’ll use humour.
I’ll use anecdotes, metaphors and reframes.
We try on new things.
We learn to listen to our bodies and what they are telling us…because we know our minds can tell lies and play tricks on us.
In time, even my most rigid clients, learn to be more bamboo.
Once they grasp the concept, I just need to say that one word…bamboo…and they smile, nod and loosen up.
When they loosen up, the transformation happens…and that lets the happiness in 🙂
Would you like to experience my coaching?
Are you ready for your transformation?
Then be more bamboo and book a call.
Much Love
Christina xx