The last 2 blogs have been quite heavy, so this week I thought I’d lighten things up a bit.
In a world that seems to be desperately trying to get us to conform to THEIR norm, I just want to say (VERY LOUDLY):-
DON’T FEEL BAD ABOUT BEING DIFFERENT.
Don’t be afraid to be YOU.
The REAL you.
Full strength.
And in all your glory.
I’m encouraging you (with all I’ve got) to be the truest, most genuine, most authentic version of YOU ever 🙂
Don’t be shy…or scared.
Our natural selves are usually our most beautiful selves.
Despite what you may have been conditioned to think.
It’s you at your SOUL level and ALL souls are beautiful.
What does the REAL you look, smell, sound like?
What work do they ideally do?
Where/how do they live?
Who is their IDEAL partner?
So few people I meet are living the way they TRULY want to live – being who they REALLY want to be.
They’re doing the “right” thing.
The “done” thing.
Doing what their parents or their partner or their “friends” think they should do.
Being how society dictates…
And it’s making them miserable.
We’re all so different in our tastes and preferences – and that’s ok.
Like a snowflake or our fingerprint – we are all completely unique.
Even identical twins who share the exact same DNA have differences.
If you know any identical twins, you’ll recognise that although they are very similar, they often have different character traits or personalities.
Why is it that we like and dislike certain things?
This absolutely fascinates me.
Our preferences are all so diverse – and that’s ok.
Who decides what’s acceptable and what’s not?
As long as we’re not breaking the law or deliberately hurting anyone, what does it matter?
Who says that we all have to do the same things or dress the same way or conform to some societal norm?
Let’s stop being sheep my Lovelies.
It’s only when I fully accepted and embraced who I REALLY was that my happiness skyrocketed.
If we’re quirky, we’re quirky – and that’s ok.
But if we’re mainstream, we’re mainstream – and that’s ok too.
If you’re someone who’s looking for a new relationship, how can you know who your ideal match is if you’re not being the REAL you?
Time to stop hiding.
It’s safe to come out now… 🙂
I Love being in my sparkly high heels, but I also Love being in my walking boots too.
I Love Bollinger Champagne in a crystal flute, but I also Love a nice cold Moretti straight from the bottle too.
I Love luxury five star hotels somewhere exotic, but I also Love camping in the countryside in the UK too.
I Love living it up in a cocktail dress, but I also Love lounging around in my gym gear and trainers too.
I Love fine dining in wonderful restaurants, but I also Love an occasional McChicken Sandwich too.
I Love dancing into the early hours in a hot, sweaty Salsa club, but I also Love a deep bath, clean sheets and an early night too. JOMO 🙂
And that’s ok…
They’re ALL the REAL me.
I don’t fit into a certain box.
I Love comfortable, familiar things, but I also Love variety and excitement too.
I Love being my own boss and all the discipline that that entails, but I also Love being a floaty fairy and being able to only choose work that I really Love doing.
Policy, structure and rigidity bore me tears.
Although I take my coaching very seriously, I want my work to feel light and fun too.
I Love having a career (calling) that I never NEED to have a holiday from.
Or I wouldn’t do it.
When I’m working with clients and I make suggestions, one of the most common things I hear them say is “I can’t do that, what will people think?”
Who cares what people think?
“People” will ALWAYS gossip and judge.
In my experience, the people who are judging the harshest are the ones who need to lighten up the most.
To me, their judgement shows that they’re the ones crying out to be, do or have something different than they currently have, but they’re just too scared to do it.
So they project and judge others harshly for the very thing they want the most.
You can’t let that stop you.
You just do you, I say…and let them do them.
When we live as our REAL selves we feel happy and topped up.
That’s when we willingly give from our overflow.
It’s not selfish, it’s sensible 🙂
I’ve been a people-pleaser all my life.
I’m STILL a people-pleaser in many respects.
If me just being me makes someone happy, then I’m over the moon.
I Love making people happy.
But if me just being me upsets someone, then as long as I haven’t been deliberately thoughtless or unkind, so be it.
And that’s a HUGE change for me.
Don’t get me wrong, I would NEVER go out of my way to upset, offend or be thoughtless towards someone.
And if I did, I would apologise.
But I would be apologising for upsetting them, not for being me.
I’ve wasted so many years of my life being other people’s puppet and putting their needs and opinions before my own.
I don’t want to waste another moment.
And I don’t want you to either.
I’m not saying any of this because I think I’m IT now, or superior to anyone.
I most definitely don’t.
I say it because, I just want you to know that freedom is possible for you too, if you make some changes.
I never would have believed a few years ago that a life like this would have been possible for me.
But if I can do it, so can you.
You really can.
To help you along the way, I’ve come up with 7 things for you to remember when being judged by others:-
- Their judgement is not about you, it’s about them. They’re giving you their poo parcels. Read more about poo parcels here.
- It doesn’t matter what THEY think, it’s only about what YOU think.
- You don’t have to convince anyone of anything.
- You don’t need them to know the truth; you just need to keep reminding yourself of the truth.
- You don’t need them to accept you or the situation; you need to come to your own acceptance of yourself and the situation.
- You can’t stop them judging, so just focus all your energy on what you’re doing and detach from their judgement.
- If they’re judging you about something that you really want, but feel insecure about, then just know that that’s life’s way of highlighting that you need to do a little more work.
These 7 things could appear to be very self-centred or self-indulgent for a life-long Lovely – as if you’re completely disregarding other people’s feelings or opinions, and that REALLY goes against the grain for you.
But people–pleasers are often crippled, paralysed and frozen by other people’s opinions of them.
And I don’t want that to hold you back any longer.
Many of you go through your whole life terrified of rocking the boat and upsetting someone.
You don’t fulfil a fraction of your beautiful potential because you never live as your REAL self, doing your soul’s true purpose in case it upsets or offends someone.
Surely that can’t be right?
All my Lovelies REALLY deserve to be happy – you’re life’s GOOD people.
You deserve to now have the happiness you’ve been giving to others so freely all these years.
Am I saying don’t still be kind and courteous – NO.
Am I saying don’t still be thoughtful and in integrity – NO.
Am I saying be reckless and completely disregard your family or your responsibilities – NO, definitely not.
I’m saying find the happy medium…that beautiful sweet spot, somewhere in the middle.
Ignore the naysayers.
And just surrender to the magic of who you are…allowing your inner voice guide you.
Just you, in all your unique glory 🙂
The world needs ALL our different flavours – and that’s ok.
Much Love
Christina xx
#approvalnotneeded