How often do you achieve great success in something and go straight back to the next thing on your to-do list without acknowledging your win at all?
How often do you accomplish some major milestone in your life and you don’t even bother to tell anyone? Or if you do, you play down just how major it was or how brilliant you were to pull it off?
How often do you minimise or poo-poo your genuine skills, talents and achievements, like they’re nothing special?
How often do you bat off praise, compliments or someone recognising something good about you?
Can you see a pattern emerging here?
My guess would be all the time!
I know I’ve really struggled with this in the past and still have to remind myself regularly.
Now I know no-one likes a big-head, but you MUST celebrate your wins!
You celebrated your wins so easily as a child. It’s time to recreate that.
You MUST give yourself a pat on the back for a job well done. If you would do it for someone else who achieved that task, then you must do it for you too.
Why would they deserve the praise but not you?
From now on if someone gives you a sincere compliment, pat on the back or some acknowledgement of some kind, I’d like you to look them straight in the eye and say thank you very much with a big smile on your face.
That’s it.
Don’t say “Oh this old thing, or it was nothing or anyone could have done it”.
Just give them a big smiley thank you and then close your mouth. Can you do that?
Their praise or compliment is a gift from them to you and if you bat it off you’re rejecting their gift. And that’s not nice, when it’s sincerely given.
Here in the UK we’re brought up to be modest, self-effacing, and to not blow our own trumpet, but some of us take this waaaaay too far.
People with low self-esteem often struggle to see any good in themselves, even when there’s lots of good there. Their belief that they’re flawed in some way or unworthy means that they’re often blind to their talents, skills or accomplishments. This is such a shame.
Interestingly, people who brag about their talents, skills and accomplishments also have low self-esteem.
What?
Yes – they need attention and validation because deep down they don’t believe they’re enough either. The more they brag, the lower the self-esteem they generally have. He who brags don’t have!
Like everything, there’s a happy medium here, a sweet spot in the middle.
Now I’m not suggesting that you should brag about your achievements (although a little swagger is absolutely fine :)) but I do want you to celebrate them from now on.
I’ll explain what I mean in a bit more detail.
We all have different qualities, skills and talents – that’s why we’re here. Between all of us we have what the world needs. You might be really good at something I’m terrible at and vice versa. It’s wonderful that we’re not all the same.
Your skills and talents are just as relevant and valuable as the next persons. Maybe even more so?
If you’re contributing to your family, society, your employer or the world in any way whatsoever then that’s a win.
Life can be hard work. The wins balance out some of the hard work when you celebrate them. The wins make the hard work worthwhile.
There’s so much negative in the world, why not make the most of any positives?
A celebration doesn’t have to be grand, there doesn’t have to be a fanfare if you don’t want there to be. This is not necessarily about sharing your win with anyone else, if you don’t want to.
It’s about you quietly acknowledging your victory, achievement or job well done.
It’s about you acknowledging you.
Acknowledging yourself and validating your wins starts to challenge those limiting beliefs that you’re not good enough. It’s hard evidence that you ARE good enough. You ARE worthwhile and you DO have lots to offer to the world.
Sit and savour for a moment, how well you did something or what you accomplished.
Especially if it was against the odds.
Give yourself a pat on the back. Make yourself a cup or glass of your favourite drink and for the time it takes you to drink it really enjoy your success. Languish and immerse yourself in it for those few minutes. Feel proud of yourself.
Acknowledge how far you’ve come. Celebrate that job or task well done. This will build your confidence enormously.
If you were part of a team celebrate the team too, this is often much easier than celebrating a solo win. People love recognition and genuine appreciation.
If you have a supportive partner or family then why not share your win with them too? If they love you they’ll want to bask in your glory. Please let that in.
The more you raise your self-esteem the more you are able to acknowledge and enjoy your wins. You do it in a healthy, balanced way. No bragging needed.
It’s time to start celebrating!
Much Love
Christina xx