About 7 years ago I had a bit of a dilemma.
I was weighing up the pros and cons of having my teeth straightened (orthodontic treatment).
My daughter had recently had her teenage braces removed and her “new” smile was absolutely stunning.
We still laugh today at how fascinated I was with her teeth in those first few weeks.
I just couldn’t stop staring at her mouth in amazement!
Her dentist really had done a wonderful job and the difference between her before and after photos was unbelievable.
My teeth weren’t terrible, but my two front teeth did cross over slightly and I always felt really self-conscious of them.
Whenever I would look at photos of me, I wouldn’t notice the happy smiling face beaming out at me; I would only notice my crossed-over teeth and feel deflated.
This went on for years and years.
Eventually I plucked up the courage to have a consultation with my daughter’s orthodontist.
This is a summary of the conversation that followed in my head afterwards…
“I’d really, really love to do this. If my teeth look half as good as my daughters I’ll be over the moon.
Nooo, what am I thinking – people will think I’m ridiculous.
It’s wasteful to spend that much money on me.
Who do I think I am? I’m far too old to be bothering with such nonsense.
I’ll look like ugly Betty with my train tracks on. It will be too embarrassing.
I won’t be taken seriously at work.
People in my circle/life/family don’t do things like this.
It’s selfish, vain and wrong of me to spend all that money on something so frivolous when I have a family to think of. What will people think??
What if something goes wrong and all my teeth fall out (yes, honestly).
Will I be able to cope with the pain (my daughter would cry and not eat for days each time she had her braces tightened)?
Why don’t I just grow old gracefully and stop having such ridiculous notions, my teeth are fine” (they weren’t).
And so went the back and forth in my head for weeks.
I didn’t take any action.
But the disappointment and yearning to sort my teeth out never went away.
A couple of months after my initial consultation I inherited some money very unexpectedly.
I took it as a push from the Universe to take the plunge…
And I finally got my braces on.
Did all my teeth fall out?
Luckily, not.
Was the process painful?
For sure it was.
Were my train-tracks embarrassing?
A little bit, initially.
Did people think it was odd “at my age”?
Yes, some did.
But some cheered.
And some even followed suit!
Was it all worth it?
YES!
A million percent yes (if that were possible).
It took around 11 months to fully straighten my teeth.
My transformation wasn’t as dramatic as my daughters, but it was still one of the best things I ever did.
I can’t tell you what a difference it made.
My confidence rose, my self-esteem rose and my belief in myself rose.
All because I’d straightened out my two front teeth!!
Who’d have thought such a small change would make such a huge difference!
I’d always been a smiley person, but from that point on, I never stopped beaming.
No more self-conscious-hiding-behind-my-hand-smiling.
No more being paranoid that people were judging me for my wonky teeth.
I was flashing my new gnashers all over the place.
And I still do 🙂
Have you got something you’ve been self-conscious about all your life?
A hooky nose, a big obvious mole on your cheek, sticky out ears?
Have you always wanted to change that thing?
Do you think this “flaw” detracts from you in some way?
It doesn’t feel “right” to you somehow?
Like it doesn’t fit with who you really are?
Then why don’t you consider doing something about it?
You are worth it…I know you are 🙂
But Christina, aren’t you supposed to tell me to love myself no matter what?
Well, yes.
And no.
I personally don’t agree with procedures for procedures sake.
I.e. lip fillers, because everyone’s having them,or Botox because nobody is allowed to have a line on their face these days.
But if you have just one (or two) things that are really really affecting your confidence, then I think you should change them, if you can.
I’m NOT suggesting you need to go mad.
I’ve got a bump on my nose, that I’m not particularly keen on, but I’m not super self-conscious about it the way I was about my teeth, so its staying.
Many young women particularly, have procedure after procedure after procedure, when they really don’t need them.
They want to be perfect like their filtered images.
Sometimes their procedures even detract from their natural beauty, in my opinion.
Sadly, I see this as a self-esteem issue.
Why?
Because they have a procedure done, then quickly go looking for their next procedure.
They never feel any different inside.
They’re chasing an impossible ideal.
That’s when you know it’s an inside job.
I believe you should change what you really can’t accept and accept what you can’t (or don’t need to) change.
But all within reason.
I couldn’t accept my teeth, but I can accept my bumpy nose.
I think you should think long and hard before making any major changes.
Often acceptance comes with age.
As you get a bit older, you think, what the hell was I worrying about??
As you all know I despised my freckles when I was younger, but now I embrace (even celebrate) them.
I couldn’t change them, so I had to learn to love them instead.
They are an integral part of me.
I had a new client this week that’d just returned from a holiday in the sun and was full of freckles.
He looked lovely.
We bonded over our freckly similarities.
Another thing that bothered me when I was younger was how small I was.
I so desperately wanted to be just a few inches taller, but just like my freckles; my height wasn’t going to change, no matter what I did.
So I just had to come to terms with it.
Now I’ve fully embraced my shortness.
I’m small, but I feel tall 🙂
It’s all about self-esteem and mindset (and a little bit of aging too).
I know there is no other single human being in the world that’s just like me, so that must make me unique and special.
That makes you all unique and special too.
Sadly, most of us just don’t appreciate that.
We’ve taken on other people’s reflections of us so deeply.
And so often those reflections are wrong, outdated, jealous or all 3!
We only have one body and that body works really, really hard for us.
So we all need to learn to give that body a bit more love and acceptance.
How would you feel if someone gave you the hate and abuse that you give to your looks and/or body every day?
It really wouldn’t feel good would it?
Please stop.
It is very possible to change how you feel about yourself.
You just need to work on your self-esteem.
Maybe you do want an odd physical tweak here and there and then a different mindset.
Let me help you with that bit.
Much Love
Smiley Christina 🙂 xx