“We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.” George Bernard Shaw
Just because we’re grown-ups now doesn’t mean we have to make life all about work and serious stuff. As children, we got our homework and chores done and then it was all about play.
Nowadays if we do manage to carve out some leisure time, we’re more likely to zone out in front of the TV or computer than engage in fun stuff like we did as kids.
But play isn’t just essential for kids; it can be a fabulous source of relaxation and stimulation for us grownups too.
In our hectic, modern lives, most of us focus so heavily on work and family commitments that we never seem to have time for any fun. Somewhere between childhood and adulthood, we just stopped playing.
Well, if you want improved mental health, lower stress levels and better, more connected relationships, it’s time to change all that.
It’s time to have some fun!
We all have something called the autonomous nervous system. It’s the part of the nervous system that regulates our internal organs. It has two main branches – the sympathetic nervous system (SNS) and the parasympathetic nervous system (PSNS). The SNS controls the body’s response during a threat or perceived danger, so the fight-or-flight response. The PSNS controls the body’s response when at rest or calm, so the rest-and-digest response.
The fight-or-flight response was only ever intended to be triggered to save your life when you were at risk of extreme danger, such as being a passing wild-animal’s lunch.
But nowadays it can be triggered by relatively normal, everyday events, such as being late for a meeting or being stuck in traffic. Some people may be stressed and in fight-or-flight mode almost constantly.
Research suggests that chronic ongoing stress contributes to high blood pressure, promotes the formation of artery-clogging deposits, and causes brain changes that may contribute to anxiety, depression, and addiction.
Other research also suggests that chronic stress may also contribute to obesity – both directly (causing people to eat more/comfort eat) or indirectly (by decreasing sleep and exercise).
So anything we can do to combat stress has got to be a good thing.
The cavemen had the right idea. They would be in SNS/fight-or-flight mode while out hunting but then would go straight back into PSNS/rest-and-digest mode as soon as they were back at their cave.
They would tell stories while sat around the campfire or sing or dance or play games.
Now it’s highly unlikely that you’re going to get mauled or eaten by a wild animal nowadays, so it’s very important that you spend as little time in SNS or fight-or-flight mode as possible.
A great way to do this is with play.
I appreciate most of us have to work and have other responsibilities but wherever you possibly can make time for hobbies, play and fun. Anything that puts you in PSNS or rest-and-digest mode is fine by me.
Here are some benefits of play:
- It can boost your energy and vitality and even improve your resistance to disease, helping you function at your best.
- It keeps you feeling young and energetic – don’t we all want a bit of that!
- Playing with your romantic partner, friends, work colleagues, pets, and children is a great way to fuel your imagination, problem-solving abilities, and emotional well-being.
- It’s a time to completely forget about work and commitments, to just be social in an unstructured, creative way.
- It creates a sense of community, increasing social well-being. In all of the blue zones across the world (the places were most people live till 100+) play and social interaction are integral parts of the community. You don’t grow old as quickly if you spend time with friends and have fun.
- It can improve your brain function – playing games that challenge the brain – such as chess and puzzles – can help prevent memory problems and improve brain function. This can also help ward off depression and Alzheimer’s.
- Play at work can help foster team building and cooperation within the company – increasing productivity and enjoyment while at work. Win-win!
- It improves your relationships. Laughing and having fun with others can foster empathy, compassion, trust and intimacy. Developing a playful nature can help you loosen up in stressful situations, break the ice with strangers and make new friends.
- It can improve your love life – couples who play together, stay together. Doing something fun and exciting together can release oxytocin (the cuddle hormone) which helps make your partner appear more attractive to you and helps you to feel more bonded. Plus it can bring joy, vitality, and resilience to relationships. It can also heal resentments, disagreements, and hurts. Through play, we can learn to trust one another and feel safe.
- It improves your mood and outlook. Even in the most difficult of times, taking time away from your troubles to play or laugh can go a long way toward making you feel better. It’s true what they say: laughter really is the best medicine. Laughter makes you feel good. It triggers the release of endorphins, your body’s natural feel-good chemicals. These promote an overall sense of wellbeing and can temporarily even relieve pain. And those endorphins can remain with you long after the giggles have subsided.
- And the biggest benefit of play: it makes your inner child really, really happy.
Recently I met with a group of friends to celebrate a friend’s special birthday. We’d all hired beach huts for the day. There were 3 generations of us ranging in age from 7-70. We spent a couple of wonderful hours all building sandcastles and playing rounders on the beach. It was the highlight of the day for me. I drove home with a beautiful rosy glow and a big smile on my face.
Some ideas:
- You can play on your own or with a pet, but for the greatest benefits, play with at least one other person, and make sure as much as possible that you’re away from sensory-overload electronic gadgets and phones. I class sex as play too, so if you’re in a relationship fill your boots!
- Host a regular games night with friends and family. The lockdowns were so good for this, but how many of us have carried it on?
- Play games with the children in your life. Nieces, nephews etc. Let them choose the activity or game.
- Pick a hobby and make time for it. Choose activities you really enjoy. Make sure you find joy in the process and don’t just focus on the end product. Try arts, crafts, music, sport, singing, dancing. Anything at all that appeals to you.
- Arrange nights out with work colleagues – bowling, cocktail-making, pool competitions, miniature golf, karaoke. Or try a comedy club or unusual class that you’ve never tried before.
- Schedule time in a park or at the beach to throw a frisbee or fly a kite with friends. Take a picnic. Get outside in the fresh air and blow the cobwebs away!
- Surround yourself with playful people. They help loosen you up and are more likely to support your efforts to play and have fun. Everyone should have a fun friend!
- Joke with strangers while you’re out and about. Be like a child and be happy and friendly with everyone you meet. You’ll cheer other people up and you may even spark up some new friendships.
- Let your hair down and be spontaneous. Try lots of new things to bring more fun and vitality into your life.
It’s not childish, it’s child-like – there’s a big difference. Children are incredibly creative, inventive and are constantly learning.
Remember, as a child, you were naturally playful; you didn’t worry about the reactions of other people. So don’t worry now either. You might even encourage others to do the same.
I’ve been at the most gorgeous outdoor wedding this weekend. Watching the sheer glee and delight on the children’s faces while they played in the sunshine warmed my heart. All us grownups deserve some of that too.
The more you play, joke, and laugh—the easier it becomes.
What are you waiting for?
Go and play!
Remember – always keep the K.I.D. in you and you’ll Keep Improving Daily!
Much Love
Christina xx