I originally had the idea to start Dream Self Esteem because I witnessed just how many of my therapy clients suffered with low self-esteem.
I was never seeing them for that…
It was always for anxiety, or a broken (often toxic) relationship, or depression, or an addiction of some kind.
Or any number of other things.
I don’t think one single person ever came to me citing low self-esteem, but low self-esteem was at the back of all of their issues.
I seemed to attract lots of very kind, gentle, people-pleasing types of clients, aka Lovelies.
This is not really surprising given my background.
I too had suffered from the curse of Lovely for most of my life, and not liked, loved or valued myself nearly enough.
Like-energy often attracts like-energy.
When I trained to be a therapist in my mid-life, it highlighted just how low my self-esteem was.
It was like someone literally switched on the light.
Once I could see it, I set about transforming it, (awareness is everything) and over time, I learned to accept, embrace and fall in Love with who I was.
There was no defined pathway then, like I’ve created, so it took me years.
I’m happy to say, I’m well and truly there now.
I have the healthiest self-esteem of my life.
I really like, Love and accept who I am.
I’m no longer a low self-esteem, people-pleasing Lovely, but I am still lovely 🙂
I’m just a few steps ahead on the staircase of life now.
I believe this enables me to understand and help you better than anyone.
And that’s why Dream Self Esteem was born (yes, it is my baby) 🙂
I’m on a mission to champion and support my wonderful Lovelies so they get the life and Love they truly deserve.
I want to teach you what it took me years to learn.
Many therapists/coaches may be able to help you, but very few will understand and relate to you the way I will.
I have to be honest; when I started DSE I fully expected that the vast majority of my clients would be women.
That’s why I allowed my girly side to roam free.
The images in my social media are extremely feminine.
They’re colourful and vibrant (this was deliberate – many people with low self-esteem live in a black and white world).
They’re very pink…very flowery…and very female-orientated.
But, I’m now discovering that just as many of my followers (officially and unofficially) are men.
Most of the information in my captions and blogs applies equally to men or women, gay or straight, so I’m pleased that my pink-ness hasn’t put anyone off.
Being a people-pleasing Lovely is universal; it’s not limited to any gender or sexual preference.
So ALL and every kind of Lovely is welcome here 🙂
My male Lovelies are well…. lovely.
There’s no better word to describe them.
They’re kind, sincere, giving, honourable men.
They have big hearts that they wear on their sleeves.
They are sensitive, emotional (but still very masculine) guys.
My happily married male Lovelies are wonderful, loving husbands and fathers.
My single male Lovelies are good, kind, genuine, solid men with great morals and values.
They’re usually very hard-working and have great careers.
Unfortunately they struggle just as much as my single female Lovelies do, and for all the same reasons.
They are just as susceptible to toxic potential partners as my ladies are.
All they want (and deserve) is to be treated well.
To Love and be loved by someone who respects them for who they truly are, without taking advantage of their good nature.
Many of my Lovelies, male and female are Golden Sheep.
Refresh your memory about Golden Sheep here.
They are the odd ones out in their family.
But the odd ones out in the RIGHT way.
Whilst they’re growing up, they don’t realise that their way of thinking/being is actually the right way.
They feel different…confused…an outsider who’s not part of the tribe.
Their instincts are telling them one thing, but their family/community are behaving or saying something completely different.
They’re a square peg in a round hole and that doesn’t feel good.
It makes them doubt themselves growing up, and this only adds to their low self-esteem and feelings of unworthiness.
When a Lovely stumbles across my content, or finds me through recommendation, or some other source, it’s only then that they begin to realise that they were right all along.
It switches on the light for them.
Wow, it’s ok to be me!
I’m not a black sheep after all; I’m a wonderful Golden Sheep.
Suddenly everything falls into place and it all makes sense.
Initially, they may feel a bit wobbly.
It’s a big revelation and it feels very new.
The light might be a bit too bright; so they have to give their eyes time to adjust.
But after a little while, my Lovelies start to feel vindicated, stronger, and more alive.
They start to realise, then gradually fall in Love with who they are.
I Love, Love, Love this bit.
Once their self-esteem is to the level it should be (for who they are) THEN my single Lovelies think about dating.
They are looking at the world through very different eyes now.
They know their TRUE worth.
Unfortunately my male Lovelies, who have had bad experiences in the past, can have the belief that all women are bad.
And my female Lovelies, who have had bad experiences in the past, can have the belief that all men are bad.
Clearly, this is not the case.
It’s all about being discerning and finding someone who is truly compatible with the new you.
It’s all about taking everything that you’ve learned in your time with me and applying it to your choices.
It’s all about looking for and then taking action on those red flags.
It’s all about taking things slooooooowly, waiting for the green light at every stage.
It’s all about knowing the traits of the narcissists, love-bombers and other toxic individuals and avoiding them like the plague.
It’s all about spotting the signs – good and bad.
Remembering what’s happened to you in the past and not falling into the same traps again.
It’s NOT about being cynical and not giving anyone a chance.
Not everyone out there is bad – far from it.
I now offer this dating support service to all my Lovely clients.
Once they are happy with who they are I hold their hand until they meet and discern someone who’s right for them as the person they are NOW.
This is usually very different to the people they’ve dated in the past.
As their self-esteem raises so do their standards 🙂
Occasionally we manage to match a male Lovely with a female Lovely.
I can’t tell you how giddy this makes me.
Knowing that someone really lovely is with someone else that’s really lovely, makes my heart soar.
Knowing that they’re each going to receive the Love they both give out and truly deserve makes me so happy.
There are good people out there, we just need to find them.
I’m considering starting a dating agency just for Lovelies.
What do you think? 🙂
Have a great week.
Much Love
Christina xx