I’ve had a hectic few weeks recently.
Things seems to be non-stop for me at the moment.
I Love to be busy, but when life appears to be controlling me, rather than me controlling it, I know it’s time to step back and chill out for a while.
My battery was well and truly ready for a rest and a recharge, so I’ve been to Ripon this weekend.
I’d never been before, but I’m always happy to experience new places I haven’t previously tried.
Ripon is the 4th smallest city in England.
It’s a dinky little place compared to most cities.
It’s the beautiful cathedral there (see above) that entitles it to be classed as a city.
We stayed in a wonderful converted coach house right in the centre.
It was like a little doll’s house 🙂
Ripon has a river AND a canal running through it, so we’ve had some fabulous waterside walks.
Nothing recharges my battery more than getting my walking boots on, getting out in the fresh air and being by water.
It’s just what I needed, after spending so much time working indoors.
I Love this part of the world, but the main reason I chose Ripon was because a concert there had caught my eye.
One of my favourite pieces of classical music (Vivaldi’s Four Seasons) was being performed by candlelight at the Cathedral.
How lovely I thought!
I’ve never been to a classical concert before and certainly not one by candlelight in a Cathedral 🙂
I Love doing things I’ve never done before, so Ripon was booked.
I enjoy almost all types of music, but I came to classical music relatively late in life.
I might never have discovered my Love for it if it hadn’t been for a relationship I was in a few years ago.
After my marriage ended we were match-made by a mutual friend of ours.
It had been 23 years since I’d be on a date!
This guy was very different to anyone I’d ever met before and nothing like what I imagined my “type” to be (I wasn’t really sure what my type was)!
All of his tastes and interests were the complete opposite of mine.
We were pretty much chalk and cheese.
My friend convinced me to give it a whirl and despite our many differences; we hit it off straight away.
We would make different choices for just about everything – food, films, theatre performances, holiday destinations and lots and lots of other things.
The people-pleaser in me wanted to make him happy, so I put my reservations aside and tried EVERY SINGLE ONE of his things.
The less I fancied it, the more I threw myself into trying it.
Now, this was in my pre-healed days.
I’m not suggesting this is what you should necessarily do.
BUT I am encouraging you to give new things a try…things that you’d never normally consider.
I’d like you to keep a really open mind.
Because I found that the things that appealed to me the least are now the things that I Love the most.
The relationship only lasted a few years, but my Love for those new things has lasted forever.
I honestly believe if it hadn’t have been for my time with him I never would have discovered those wonderful things.
One of those things is classical music.
The performance in the Cathedral was absolutely outstanding.
I can honestly say they were the most talented musicians I’ve ever witnessed.
That beautiful music lifted me to another place entirely.
Listening with my eyes closed, I wasn’t sitting in a Cathedral in North Yorkshire, I was visiting the streets of romantic old Vienna or roaming the countryside in remotest rural Ireland.
It was absolutely wonderful.
As we left the concert people were incredulous at what they’d just experienced.
The buzz about the place was amazing.
I Love experiences that move me like this and make me feel uplifted and alive.
I hope to do many more of these in my life.
How about you?
When I’m working with clients who are looking for a new partner, or looking to change their life in some way, they are often reluctant to try people or experiences that are not their usual “type/thing”.
I appreciate we all feel comfortable with what’s familiar.
But isn’t variety the spice of life?
I always say we need to try on (or taste) lots of different flavours to know what we really like.
What we maybe liked years ago is not for us anymore and what we never enjoyed previously, we now suddenly have a taste for.
Experiencing new things is a wonderful way to grow as a person.
As children we are very curious…our brains are geared towards novelty and new experiences.
That’s how we’re able to learn everything we need to learn to survive.
But as we grow older, we can get stuck in familiar ruts and patterns.
This is when life can get stale and boring.
It’s good for us to shake things up a bit 🙂
There is a dedicated term for the desire to have new experiences.
It’s called neophilia.
Neophilia is a predictor of longevity because research has shown that people who seek out novel or new experiences live healthier, happier lives.
When we experience something new, be it new foods, situations, places or people, we stretch our senses and develop new neural pathways to handle those new experiences.
Our mood becomes elevated and we can experience a rush of sheer delight ( just like I did at the concert).
Of course, we have to balance neophilia with good routines and structures.
We can’t constantly be chasing novelty.
Life would be chaotic.
As usual, the happy medium or sweet spot in the middle is the place to be.
What kinds of things could you add to a bucket list?
Come up with a variety of things.
Things you could do on your own and things you could do with loved ones.
Ask around.
What do your friends, family and work colleagues do that you could consider?
By all means pick things that appeal to you.
But occasionally also pick other things that don’t.
That’s what I did and I found some life-long loves I never would have discovered otherwise.
Push yourself out of your comfort zone/rut.
Take a little risk that gets your blood pumping.
When I had my last “big” birthday a friend of mine bought me a supercar driving experience.
I thought to myself “Why on earth has she bought me this?”
It couldn’t have been less appropriate for me.
But I had the most amazing day – it got my adrenaline surging like nothing on earth and I was still talking about it years later.
For some reason, little old never-competitive-me grew horns that day and wasn’t going to be beaten by anyone!
It increased my self-confidence at the time AND improved my driving.
This week why not try something new…anything at all.
A new food, drink, way to work, restaurant, hobby…anything.
If you’re currently dating, date someone you would never normally choose (but stay safe).
Start small; it doesn’t have to be on a grand scale.
Just start to build that neophilia muscle and grow those new neural pathways.
Dare to do things a little differently.
Your brain and overall happiness levels will thank you for it.
Have a wonderful week 🙂
Much Love
(Still floating on a musical cloud) Christina xx