I’ve just returned from a LOVELY trip to Ireland (my spiritual home and where I feel closest to my deceased parents).
I went with my LOVELY son, to see some of my LOVELY relatives.
Because it’s a LOVELY place and I was with LOVELY people, we had a LOVELY time 🙂 (despite the pouring rain).
We had a LOVELY time because my ratios were balanced perfectly.
Ratios??
Ratios to me, are when I match like with like.
When I match like with like, everything in my life feels harmonious.
When I’m in MY kind of place, surrounded by MY kind of people, I have the best time.
This is how I engineer my life.
It sounds so simple and straightforward.
But we don’t all do it.
After years of introspection, I’ve now come to know myself really well.
I know that I need peace and harmony in my life above everything else.
If I had my way, we’d all live in a peaceful, calm, fluffy bunny world where everyone got along and there was never any conflict 🙂
The vast majority of my Lovelies crave peace and harmony too.
They don’t find it boring; they positively thrive on it, just like I do.
If things get a bit samey, that’s when I go looking for some fun and excitement.
That way, the fun and excitement is on MY terms.
Rebels are the opposite of Lovelies.
They don’t want too much peace and harmony.
They find it boring.
They love difference, newness and novelty – they don’t even mind a bit of conflict.
A good argument or debate gets their blood pumping.
That’s how they thrive.
And that’s fine too.
Some people fall in the middle and like a bit of both.
Where do you fall?
One way isn’t better than the other.
It’s all about knowing who you are and what floats your boat.
Awareness is everything.
Awareness of who you REALLY are and what you REALLY want/need to thrive.
Once you know, you can start living CONSCIOUSLY in that truth.
I meet so many people who don’t know who they are and/or what they need to be happy.
They’re living UNCONSCIOUSLY.
So, back to ratios:-
I’d like you to consider all of your qualities as a whole.
Think about:-
Your personality,
Your looks,
Your intelligence,
Your status,
Your financial standing, and
Your character – Lovely, Rebel etc
And then give yourself an overall score out of 10.
Be objective and don’t be modest.
Some people are not great looking but they have a fabulous personality.
Others don’t have a lot financially, but they have a wonderful character…or vice versa.
Take everything into consideration.
Imagine an independent assessor helping you come up with your score.
If they’d give you a different score, then go with theirs, not yours.
This is your subconscious/intuition talking to you.
It knows you better than you do!
You can either consider each category in detail – i.e. give yourself 6 individual scores and then come up with an average.
Or you can just pick a score off the top of your head.
Either way is fine.
If you have a low score initially, don’t worry, it’s only a starting point.
There are lots of things you can do to up it.
Working with me skyrockets your score 🙂
If you want harmonious relationships, as far as possible, you should only date/surround yourself with people who have the same overall score, plus or minus one.
So for example, if you give yourself an overall score of 7 you should only date overall 6s, 7s or 8s.
If you go outside this range, there will likely be problems and you’ll lose the harmony you’re looking for.
Get into a relationship with someone below a 6 and you’ll feel like you’re settling.
You’ll have a niggling feeling that you could/should do better.
You won’t want to put as much effort into the relationship.
This won’t feel good to the other person and will likely cause problems.
Get into a relationship with someone above an 8 and you’ll feel like you’re punching.
You’ll worry constantly that you’re not good enough for them and they might leave you for someone else.
It will tap into every one of your insecurities.
And that won’t feel good to you, which will also likely cause problems.
In my experience, (unhealed) Lovelies don’t remember their ratios.
To begin with, they don’t give themselves the score that they truly deserve.
Then they date people of a much lower score because they have a belief that if they aim low that person won’t notice/won’t mind all the ways that (they believe) they’re not good enough.
Settling never feels good.
Ask yourself have you done this in the past?
This might all sound a bit cold-hearted and brutal.
Giving people scores etc.
But it really works.
Trust me.
It works with friendships too.
Before you get into any kind of new friendship/relationship, discern that new person.
Does their score match yours?
Are they going to bring peace and harmony into your life or chaos and drama?
I’m not saying here that opposites can’t attract…far from it.
Sometimes it’s good to be with someone that contrasts with us.
It brings more to the buffet of life.
If similar creates harmony, different CAN create passion and excitement. (Be careful of the bad boys/girls)!
But you should still aim for someone with the same score as you (plus or minus 1).
They just score higher in different categories to you.
Places and activities can be given a score out of 10 too.
As far as possible, only go to places and do things that tie up with who you are.
If you’re an 8 out of 10, go to 8 out of 10 places, that make you feel at home/like you belong.
That greasy spoon café may not feel good to you, but neither might that fancy Michelin-starred restaurant.
Find the level that feels perfect for you.
Try lots of different places, people and things.
You’ll know when you’ve hit the spot because it will feel RIGHT.
As your score rises, you can change the places that you go to.
We can’t usually choose the people that we work with or even the people in our family.
But we can choose who we spend our time with outside those places.
Get to know yourself really well and then get into the habit of remembering your ratios.
Let that harmony (or novelty) flood in.
Know what works for you and keep tweaking until you’ve engineered your free time in just the right way for you.
If you’d like my help to do this, or just to skyrocket your overall score then book a call.
Much Love
Christina xx