I had a lovely dinner with a friend of mine this week.
We’ve been friends for a very long time.
We had to go away together for a work project in 1988.
At the time, neither of us was very sure about having to be away with the other one.
We’d only met once before, and for some reason, had not made a great first impression on each other!
We had a nightmare 6 hour car journey to our destination – we got lost 3 times (it was long before the days of Sat Nav).
Then, when we finally arrived, we discovered we’d been booked into the worst fleapit hotel in the country.
It was falling apart, run-down and absolutely filthy. The sinks were literally hanging off the wall and the beds hadn’t been changed from the previous occupants!
The hotel receptionist took one look at us and sheepishly cancelled our booking straight away.
We found a lovely little boutique hotel down the road, dropped our bags and went and bonded over the experience with a few (lots of) drinks.
We’ve been great friends ever since.
My friend is the most positive, optimistic person I’ve ever met.
She’s generous, bubbly, fun, enthusiastic and determined to live her best possible life.
Her glass isn’t just half full, it’s overflowing.
Even when she’s down she’s up.
She has a high, high vibe that I absolutely love.
She literally makes the sun come out.
Time spent with her feels like I’ve taken the most amazing, magical tonic.
When I leave her, my energy feels very different.
It feels lighter – more floaty. I feel so positive and uplifted.
I can literally feel the joy bubbling up inside me.
Her energy is blending with mine and skyrocketing everything upwards.
She’s a Sustainer or Booster and because of this, we will be friends forever.
I had another friend years ago.
We also met at work.
She was a really solid, good person.
BUT she was the most negative, pessimistic person I’ve ever met.
Although she was very kind, she moaned, blamed, complained and never saw any good in anything – at all.
On the surface, she seemed to have a really good life but you’d never believe it.
Her head was constantly down and rather than viewing the world in any kind of positive light, she seemed to view everything through gloomy, grimy glasses.
Her glass wasn’t just half empty, it was drained, dirty and needed washing!
Everything was always dark and negative.
She had a low, low vibe that I really struggled with.
Time spent with her felt heavy – like I was wading through treacle with lead boots on.
When I left her, my energy felt very different.
It felt heavier – darker – like all the life had been sucked out of me.
She literally made the sun go behind a dark cloud, even when it was a sunny day.
Her energy was blending with mine and draining the colour and life out of everything.
She was a nice person, but very hard work.
She was a Drainer or Mood-Hoover and because of this, I eventually drifted away from our friendship.
Which type of friend are you?
If we’re ever going to live our best life we have to protect our energy.
Especially if you’re an empathic Lovely.
Empaths and Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) feel things really deeply.
We pick up other people’s energy all the time, so we’re very, very susceptible to what is going on around us.
I’ve fine-tuned my life to such an extent these days that if I’m around a very negative or cynical person their energy seems to choke me and I have to get away.
Even if you’re not an Empath, you will still be affected by other people’s energy.
More than you realise.
We can’t help it.
Our subconscious mind is ALWAYS scanning our environment to keep us safe.
Even when we’re not consciously aware of it.
Your subconscious mind is tapping into every single thing in your environment.
All the people, places and things that surround you.
If it’s not happy, it will give you clues.
It will give you an uncomfortable feeling.
Don’t ever ignore that feeling.
I know it’s not always possible to avoid the Drainers and Mood-Hoovers – especially if they’re your family.
But if someone depletes you or drains your battery on a regular basis, limit the amount of time you spend with them.
If you’re a Booster (and lots of Lovelies will be) that’s brilliant.
The world needs you more than ever.
BUT don’t give too much of that lovely energy away at the expense of yourself.
Don’t be giving so much away that there’s nothing left for you.
Let your good energy sustain and boost you too.
If you’re reading this uncomfortably thinking:-
Oh God. I think I might be a bit of a Mood-Hoover.
Then fear not.
It is possible to change.
And it’s worth changing, because it will help you (and those around you) to have a happier life.
Negativity is so often a self-esteem issue.
Your head’s down because your self-esteem is low.
You view yourself and your life in a more negative, critical light because you feel less able to take on the challenges that life throws at you.
You feel overwhelmed or defeatist and it makes you dark and heavy.
Let me help you with this.
How you interact with the world is so important – so let your energy say all of the right things about you and none of the wrong ones.
Much Love
Christina xx