Resistance affects everyone at some time in their life.
And I mean…everyone.
The reason for this is our brains hate change.
They like the status quo…the familiar, the known, not the unknown.
Our brains have a negative bias; they are literally hard-wired to seek out the negatives around us in order to keep us alive/safe.
They don’t want us venturing out and making big changes…big changes might put us at risk, so they have a special mechanism – that mechanism is resistance.
Here are some examples of when resistance might rear its ugly head:-
If you decide to follow a calling of your heart – music, acting, writing, art, anything creative.
If you think about making a big career change or starting a business.
If you start a diet or healthy eating plan.
If you embark on a fitness programme.
If you try to give up, or overcome a bad habit or addiction.
If you’re considering any form of further education of any kind.
If you want to initiate any type of self-improvement system.
If you begin any new endeavour that helps you or someone else grow in any way.
If you are about to make a commitment of the heart – moving in together, getting married, starting a family.
In other words it’s any act where we embark on any long term plan for growth, health, integrity or happiness, that doesn’t give us instant gratification.
When we try to make a change in life that is constructive, enriching or positive in any way.
A change that puts us on a higher (therefore unknown) level.
Resistance is an invisible barrier between who we are and who we want to be.
Resistance has you thinking a part of me really wants this, but a different part of me is really fighting it.
We can’t see, touch, hear or smell resistance but boy can we feel it.
It’s an invisible force that holds us back and keeps us frozen in doubt and/or procrastination.
In lots of cases, it holds us back so strongly it actually paralyses us from moving forward.
Resistance comes from within and it means business.
It is strong beyond belief.
It will lie, confuse, disguise, seduce, bully, distract and cajole us out of our desires.
The stronger we desire that growth, the stronger resistance usually is.
The more that act or desire means to us, the more that invisible force/fear keeps us paralysed.
It becomes the enemy within.
Resistance causes self-sabotage and it does it in a multitude of ways.
It will tell you you’re not good enough.
It will fill your head with negative thoughts and images.
It will make you feel your goal is too big to be achievable.
It will distract or delay you with a million other non-important things.
It will confuse you so that you can’t think clearly or you over-think.
It will seduce you into doing things that are completely counter to your wish or desire.
It will stop at nothing to derail you.
And if we can manage to get over our own resistance, we often encounter resistance from other people.
Family, friends or partners can be threatened by our up-levelling and start to act differently towards us.
They might become moody or ‘off’ with us.
They might say things like “you’ve changed” or “you’re not who you used to be” or even “who do you think you are?”
They’ll do their best to throw a spanner in the works to keep you at your original level, to keep you from growing and evolving.
What they’re doing is struggling against their own resistance.
They don’t want to take a look in the mirror and see what they’re NOT doing. How they’re NOT growing.
They don’t want to see you changing, because they’re frightened to change and don’t want to get left behind.
Often this is subconscious – they won’t actually realise they’re doing it.
They’ll genuinely believe they have your best interests at heart.
But they don’t…they’re running scared.
It’s the crabs in the bucket phenomenon.
It’s well known that if one crab tries to climb out of a bucket of crabs, the other crabs will pull it back down again.
No-one is allowed to get out of the bucket.
As you’re reading this blog, think about your life.
Are there crabs trying to stop you getting out of the bucket?
So now we’re aware of this resistance enemy that seems so strong. What can we do about it?
Well, the Dalai Lama says the enemy is a very good teacher. And he’s 100% right.
We can learn that when resistance is there, the thing that’s causing the resistance is very important to us.
That’s why there’s resistance.
If it’s very important to us, if it will lead to our growth, our next level then we need to make sure we do it.
What we can see we can change.
When we switch the light on and become aware of something, it demystifies it completely.
We don’t have to fight resistance, we can just flow around it.
We know it’s there but we take action anyway.
I want to teach you a very useful exercise.
I want you to stand in front of a mirror.
Do this when you’re nice and relaxed and not distracted.
Allow some time.
You’re going to use the mirror to look into your soul.
So look beyond your wrinkles, your appearance, your perceived flaws and look deep into your eyes.
Deep, deep, deep into your eyes, as if you’re looking right into your soul.
What is it that you desire more than anything?
What is that calling in your soul?
What is the legacy that you long to leave?
If your soul could speak to you what would it say?
If you knew you only had 6 months to live – what changes would you make?
Because they’re the changes your REALLY desire.
Would you sweat the small stuff?
Would you stay in that dead end job/relationship/home?
Would you waste a single moment?
No, of course you wouldn’t.
Ask yourself what would you do if you got that fateful diagnosis tomorrow – what would be on your bucket list?
None of us know how long we’ve got left.
I’m not trying to be morbid; I’m just trying to make you see that we spend far too much time wasting time.
An average life span of 80 years is only around 4000 weeks.
How many weeks have you already spent stuck in resistance?
Don’t put things off till your deathbed. It’s too late then.
This very moment, looking in that mirror.
Tell yourself you’re going to finally lose that weight and get fit.
Tell yourself you’re going to leave that good-for-nothing boyfriend/girlfriend once and for all.
Tell yourself you’re going to take that year off and go and help build that orphanage in Rwanda.
You’re going to write that book that’s in your heart/start that business/adopt a baby etc etc etc.
Make a commitment to yourself in that mirror.
And then just take the first step.
Resistance and fear are bullies and we can’t ever let the bullies win.
You have the power – look in the mirror and tell yourself that.
“I have the power – the bullies are not going to stop me.”
We have the power to alter our destiny, not resistance.
Just take that first step.
Book that coaching call, sign up for that programme. Tell that person how you really feel…
Take that first step and watch the resistance start to dissolve.
You will never beat the resistance because what you resist persists, you have to flow around it.
You flow around it by taking action. You must make the leap.
Just ignore it, see it for what it is, and take that first step anyway.
Your desires are coming from your heart and soul.
They’re the things you were put on the planet to do.
That’s why you feel those urges so strongly.
That’s why the resistance is there.
It’s doing everything in its power to stop you making a start.
But when you make a start it dissolves.
It will always be there when you’re going to the next level, but you go there anyway.
There’s no resistance when you want to eat that doughnut or take that dead end job or stay in your crappy relationship for another year.
They’re not going to make your soul sing and your heart happy.
They’re not going to give you the growth that you yearn for.
Just take that first step.
Getting around resistance is so much easier when you have support around you.
Positive friends, families, colleagues or a coach/therapist.
If you’d like me to help you beat that resistance, then get in touch.
It’s time to climb out of the bucket and live the life you were always meant to live.
Much Love
Christina xx