We are all born with perfect self-esteem. Most children up to the age of 3 or 4 know they are worthwhile and believe they’re wonderful. They live in their own happy little world. But as they get slightly older other influences start to penetrate that little world. Less than ideal parenting, overly strict or bullying teachers, taunts from older siblings or classmates, and the cracks start to appear. All small children believe that adults or older children are right. They never entertain the thought that the adult might be damaged or mistaken or insecure themselves. Our minds are not fully formed at this young age so we don’t question these influences, we never challenge them, we just soak them all up like the little sponges that we are and take them all in. They stay inside us for the rest of our lives if we don’t uproot them.
And now we have a whole school of other children to compare ourselves to as well. We can see that we’re not the tallest, prettiest, cleverest or most popular kid. We might have too many freckles or sticky out teeth or a stutter or a lazy eye or we might be really shy and this starts to erode our high self-esteem and self-belief even further and we begin to doubt ourselves.
If you’ve got low self-esteem, it’s not your fault. You were just an innocent child who soaked up all of this stuff but couldn’t process it. And if you have, you’re not alone. It’s estimated that up to 85% of the population has lower than ideal self-esteem. You may be carrying burdens – shame, guilt, sorrow, or abandonment feelings that are not yours to carry.
This emotional conditioning at such a young age runs deep. It’s in the subconscious mind. These old memories drive our behaviour for decades if we don’t de-condition and reframe them. It’s like you’re viewing yourself through an out-of-date, distorted, damaged lens. You may be 45 and a marathon runner, but you still see yourself as the fat kid who came last at sports day. It’s only when we finally let go of this outdated stuff we can allow new thoughts and feelings to surface and influence our behaviour in a positive way.
Loving yourself is not about being a diva or arrogant or thinking you’re above anyone else, not at all. It’s just about knowing that you matter, you’re the equal of anyone else and you are worthy of good things. It’s not being selfish. It’s actually being selfless. When the vast majority of people are filled up, happy and alive they give more to others, not less – their happiness and love ripples out to everyone around them and everyone benefits. I call it giving from your overflow. If you’re a parent or even an aunt/uncle or godparent what is being a martyr or doormat teaching your young people? All the wrong things I would say!
Self-Love is all about knowing you have inherent worth just because you are you. Your worth isn’t tied up in your looks, or your dress size or your bank account or the number of friends or followers you have. Your worth is what’s inside you. Shout it from the roof-tops. Your worth is what’s inside you. It’s in your character, it’s in your being, it’s in your DNA.
Your worth is inherent in you.
You are custom-made, unique and one of a kind just like your fingerprint. You’re super rare and precious. You were born for a reason; no-one else can be you. No-one else can ever be you. No-one else has your gifts. I want you to constantly become more of who you are. Your truest self.
Every baby that is born is a miracle, all that innocence and pure potential. It is born 100% worthy. We all marvel at that newborn baby and coo and gurgle over it – well you’re still that same person! If you were 100% worthy when you were born, you are still 100% worthy now.
Your worth is inherent in you.
It’s not a bad thing to be different to others. It’s a wonderful thing. We are all meant to be different! The world would be a very boring place if we were all exactly the same. Nobody wants a world full of clones. I believe the world needs your uniqueness. As Dr Seuss says there is no-one alive that’s more youer than you! Nobody else can be you, so you need to be the full, genuine, authentic person that you’re meant to be and be proud of being your unique self. Variety is a wonderful thing so be yourself, full strength.
Your worth is inherent in you.
We worry so much about what other people think of us or what they say or how they treat us. What other people say or do has nothing to do with who we are. We’ve got to stop letting people who don’t love themselves tell us how to feel. Most of the time what they are saying is all about them and nothing to do with us. It’s their stuff being projected onto us. As Anais Nin says “We do not see things as they are. We see things as we are”
Don’t be a puppet and give other people your strings. That’s no way to a happy life.
Your worth is inherent in you.
It’s time to change your script about who you are and what you deserve. When self-esteem is high, nothing can really touch you. You grow into the person you were always meant to be and once you’ve grown you can’t un-grow again. There’s no going back. It’s an upward spiral. People respond to you differently. You can only imagine good things happening to you. Your energy starts to tell a completely different story. You feel positive, you feel strong and you feel good. You give off a wonderful vibe. You go for things you never would have gone for before. It’s all good.
Your worth is inherent in you.
“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
Anais Nin
I want you to start to question and shift the way you think about yourself. It’s time for you to blossom.
Much Love, Christina xx